Just looking at this photo... Tears are rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. (: I don't even know how to begin this post. Thank you God, for this special group of friends. I believe God was the one who put this wonderful group together. The trip wouldn't have been the same without any one of you. Every one of you is so special, so indispensable in making the trip what it was (: Thank you guys for everything. For the company, the fun we had, the God moments we shared, and this friendship that will go a long way. Nothing can describe how grateful and thankful I am, to have found you guys. I love you guys so so so so so so much (:
Here I find myself, at the end of the month, in awe of all that has happened and all that has been happening in my life the past month. My life is, and will never be the same again. God did some pretty awesome things in our lives when we were over at the Hillsongs Conference. And He hasn't stopped doing so ever since (: My life has somewhat been turned around 180 degrees. The conference was just so awesome. It was like church camp all over again, but with extremely extremely powerful speakers and God showing up everyday, everywhere, every how and every way. God really revealed to me, His heart for others and the state of my heart towards Him, His people and others- just like how I prayed He would. It wasn't a pretty sight, but I knew I had to come to terms that I haven't been giving my ALL in pursuing Him and what He's called me to do. Have been complacent with my spiritual walk but I really felt like God gave me a breakthrough in the Conference (:
It used to be "I don't really feel like it"s. But seeing so many people worship Him in the conference just reminded me of how very great, the God I am serving is. And how "insignificant" I am. That I am really, nothing. That... Worship unto God was truly my privilege. And that it ain't always "Oh God, I 'worship' you and please minister to me. I'M FEELING SUCKY. I'm here to meet You but I NEED YOU TO MINISTER TO ME NOW." It was NEVER about me. Worship is about ministering to God's heart. Not just because I want something from Him, but just simply because He's worthy of my undignified praise and worship, even if it was in the midst of adversity! The song "Desert Song" by Brooke F and Jill M summed it all up. Jill's testimony really challenged me. Just one and a half weeks before the album recording, Jill lost her baby whom she had in her arms for only a day. And there she stood singing:
It used to be "I don't really feel like it"s. But seeing so many people worship Him in the conference just reminded me of how very great, the God I am serving is. And how "insignificant" I am. That I am really, nothing. That... Worship unto God was truly my privilege. And that it ain't always "Oh God, I 'worship' you and please minister to me. I'M FEELING SUCKY. I'm here to meet You but I NEED YOU TO MINISTER TO ME NOW." It was NEVER about me. Worship is about ministering to God's heart. Not just because I want something from Him, but just simply because He's worthy of my undignified praise and worship, even if it was in the midst of adversity! The song "Desert Song" by Brooke F and Jill M summed it all up. Jill's testimony really challenged me. Just one and a half weeks before the album recording, Jill lost her baby whom she had in her arms for only a day. And there she stood singing:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow
"I don't always feel like it. Sometimes I don't feel like singing to God. But I know that my circumstance in this season does not change who God is... That God is still God. It does not change what He's called me to be or what He's called me to do. And He's still on the throne in heaven and He still rules.. and He's still bigger than everything that I am facing."
-Jill McCloghry
-Jill McCloghry
"But her standing there and glorifying God in the midst of her lost,the tragedy, means that the devil lost whatever he was trying to achieve."
-Brooke Fraser
I guess so many times I've given up too easily to my flesh, my selfish desires, and had my own pity parties. I guess I haven't been too careful with the guarding of my heart. I've allowed the devil to have so many footholds in my life that.. Maybe I've been living in such misery. Not that I haven't felt God all year round. Its just that... 2008 was supposed to be a phenomenal year of great things and lets just say it hasn't been the best year for me the past 6 months. I went to the conference questioning,"God, all that you've promised, where is it!?" But really, through this conference I've seen how I could have delayed the work that God wanted to do due to my unwillingness to look beyond myself.
Seriously, if I keeping living for myself, if all I could do is worry about my situations, there'll be no end to it! Since the problems are not gonna stop coming, no use trying to solve them with my own effort. Like how meaningless would life be luh. The moment I said "Lord, I give you my life." My life is no longer mine! Its His now. Alot of people say, "Oh, don't say that... its dangerous you know. God'll ask you to do unimaginable things." I say, "Well, then so be it (: I mean, God loves me and His plans are not ought to ruin my life! Whatever He wants for me is good. And if it contributes to His Kingdom purposes, then wow, what a privilege I have to be part of the biggest project in human history!"
One thing I learnt about these Hillsong Pastors and Leaders is that they're ever so positive and declarative (: They are constantly declaring the goodness of God, His promises, His power, His majesty. And instead of going on and on about our problems, maybe we should begin to speak hope, life and God's promises into our situations and really take hold of what God has already given to us. I finally understand the meaning of the power in declaring the word of God. Its really cool (: Really changed my perspective when I look at things and really directs my thoughts to God, my hope!
No longer do I have to feel like "what if I'm not worthy enough" especially when I know I haven't been a good girl. Cos... even when I try in my own strength to be the best girl I could ever be, I would still, not be worthy! The word "worthy" is only for God. Whether God uses me? Its really not about how good a person I am but its about His grace and mercy upon me, that He's willing to use something so small like me. That He's willing to make something useless useful. Sometimes I think we humans are too complicated in our mindsets, like how we try to figure God out and how we try to "show off" our talents and abilities to God by doing things in our own strength, but maybe God's just looking for a willing heart. Simply that. And we fail to comprehend that. Haha, humans are super silly la.
In one of Joyce Meyer's sermons she mentioned:
Everything changes, like it or not. Why spend the rest of your life, trying to do something you can do nothing about? The quickest way we lose our peace is when a change is made and its not going the way we would have wanted it to go. When we lose our peace, we lose our power. The devil knows that. Therefore, in everything, pursue peace!
-Joyce Meyer
Indeed, no longer do I have to lose my peace day in day out, whenever the devil wants to take it from me. I won't let him no more. Its time to take back what was stolen, with the authority that God has given to me! Its a conscious decision, I realised. To really guard the peace God has given to me and not be easily swayed emotionally by the people around or the things that happen around me. People change and I can't help it. But I can change my attitude towards change. By not allowing my joy to be robbed away so easily. One reason I can rejoice each and every day as I awake is because:
-Brooke Fraser
I guess so many times I've given up too easily to my flesh, my selfish desires, and had my own pity parties. I guess I haven't been too careful with the guarding of my heart. I've allowed the devil to have so many footholds in my life that.. Maybe I've been living in such misery. Not that I haven't felt God all year round. Its just that... 2008 was supposed to be a phenomenal year of great things and lets just say it hasn't been the best year for me the past 6 months. I went to the conference questioning,"God, all that you've promised, where is it!?" But really, through this conference I've seen how I could have delayed the work that God wanted to do due to my unwillingness to look beyond myself.
Seriously, if I keeping living for myself, if all I could do is worry about my situations, there'll be no end to it! Since the problems are not gonna stop coming, no use trying to solve them with my own effort. Like how meaningless would life be luh. The moment I said "Lord, I give you my life." My life is no longer mine! Its His now. Alot of people say, "Oh, don't say that... its dangerous you know. God'll ask you to do unimaginable things." I say, "Well, then so be it (: I mean, God loves me and His plans are not ought to ruin my life! Whatever He wants for me is good. And if it contributes to His Kingdom purposes, then wow, what a privilege I have to be part of the biggest project in human history!"
One thing I learnt about these Hillsong Pastors and Leaders is that they're ever so positive and declarative (: They are constantly declaring the goodness of God, His promises, His power, His majesty. And instead of going on and on about our problems, maybe we should begin to speak hope, life and God's promises into our situations and really take hold of what God has already given to us. I finally understand the meaning of the power in declaring the word of God. Its really cool (: Really changed my perspective when I look at things and really directs my thoughts to God, my hope!
No longer do I have to feel like "what if I'm not worthy enough" especially when I know I haven't been a good girl. Cos... even when I try in my own strength to be the best girl I could ever be, I would still, not be worthy! The word "worthy" is only for God. Whether God uses me? Its really not about how good a person I am but its about His grace and mercy upon me, that He's willing to use something so small like me. That He's willing to make something useless useful. Sometimes I think we humans are too complicated in our mindsets, like how we try to figure God out and how we try to "show off" our talents and abilities to God by doing things in our own strength, but maybe God's just looking for a willing heart. Simply that. And we fail to comprehend that. Haha, humans are super silly la.
In one of Joyce Meyer's sermons she mentioned:
Everything changes, like it or not. Why spend the rest of your life, trying to do something you can do nothing about? The quickest way we lose our peace is when a change is made and its not going the way we would have wanted it to go. When we lose our peace, we lose our power. The devil knows that. Therefore, in everything, pursue peace!
-Joyce Meyer
Indeed, no longer do I have to lose my peace day in day out, whenever the devil wants to take it from me. I won't let him no more. Its time to take back what was stolen, with the authority that God has given to me! Its a conscious decision, I realised. To really guard the peace God has given to me and not be easily swayed emotionally by the people around or the things that happen around me. People change and I can't help it. But I can change my attitude towards change. By not allowing my joy to be robbed away so easily. One reason I can rejoice each and every day as I awake is because:
"Surely as the sun will rise, You'll come to us. Certain as the dawn appears."
God is unchanging. And He will ever be. If my thoughts are fixed on Him, never will I have to worry about how He'd react to me the next day because He's faithful and He'll ALWAYS love me no matter what. Oh man, God is so awesome can! (:
Conference was really just mindblowing. (: But one thing that really struck me the other day was that I had to be very careful to not live in my testimonies of yesterday. Its really good to talk and share about it but sometimes I find myself in a state where I'm just thanking God for my "yesterdays". Every day is a day that God has made and every day He yearns to do something new and radical in me! So I should have a testimony everyday... Yea. (: Just like how I had something to share everyday in Sydney, I wanna keep that up even when I'm back in Singapore. (:
God has been doing some awesome things even after we've returned to Singapore. The NUS outreach prayer walks have been so enjoyable. I'm just so amazed at how ready the harvest is. People have been so open, so thirsty for something more than the life they've known. Seeing God's hand move so mightily in our small meetings, just excites me to the core! Net the other day was madness. God's presence was so thick that it was impossible to deny His presence that day. We worshiped for hours (: Its really awesome, just basking in the presence of God, hearing Him speak, and just lingering.
Just last weekend we managed to have a campfire together with some kids from MINDS. We had so much fun just dancing, singing and playing games with them. Even though it was just a campfire, God's presence was so evident. Indeed, its the brokenhearted, the poor, the needy that God's close to. God sorta gave me a word and a sign for me to change my major a few nights before. And I'm proud to say I'm a social work major now! (: Nothing feels better than knowing that you're doing what God wants you to do... Even if others think its a risk, a blunder or a silly decision to make. I've made my choice, and its final. (: I can't wait to start school!!! (I know, so weird. But I can't wait! Yay)
Conference was really just mindblowing. (: But one thing that really struck me the other day was that I had to be very careful to not live in my testimonies of yesterday. Its really good to talk and share about it but sometimes I find myself in a state where I'm just thanking God for my "yesterdays". Every day is a day that God has made and every day He yearns to do something new and radical in me! So I should have a testimony everyday... Yea. (: Just like how I had something to share everyday in Sydney, I wanna keep that up even when I'm back in Singapore. (:
God has been doing some awesome things even after we've returned to Singapore. The NUS outreach prayer walks have been so enjoyable. I'm just so amazed at how ready the harvest is. People have been so open, so thirsty for something more than the life they've known. Seeing God's hand move so mightily in our small meetings, just excites me to the core! Net the other day was madness. God's presence was so thick that it was impossible to deny His presence that day. We worshiped for hours (: Its really awesome, just basking in the presence of God, hearing Him speak, and just lingering.
Just last weekend we managed to have a campfire together with some kids from MINDS. We had so much fun just dancing, singing and playing games with them. Even though it was just a campfire, God's presence was so evident. Indeed, its the brokenhearted, the poor, the needy that God's close to. God sorta gave me a word and a sign for me to change my major a few nights before. And I'm proud to say I'm a social work major now! (: Nothing feels better than knowing that you're doing what God wants you to do... Even if others think its a risk, a blunder or a silly decision to make. I've made my choice, and its final. (: I can't wait to start school!!! (I know, so weird. But I can't wait! Yay)
We only have one life to live. One life to give. What are you gonna give it to?
I hope my answer years later will still be the same. (:
I hope my answer years later will still be the same. (:
No comments:
Post a Comment