2009. I look upon that number with loads of excitement, curiosity, and a little apprehension&fear. I know I say it every year but time really flies. (Have you heard my joke on that? HAHA Here it is: Time flies using a stopwatch. Go figure. Haha. Okay, I totally self amusing. Sorry, I'm repeatedly self amused at things I say. Even if it's the 100th time, it's funny to me. Okay, digressing!)
Perhaps cos my brother bought EstherTan a Cannon860 camera for Christmas last year and cos everyone was kind enough to buy me a camera of my own for my birthday, I find myself having a record breaking amount of photos this year. 2008 was one of the fastest years of my life. It came and went just like that. However as I look back it seems like so much have happened and changed. Some people have come, some have gone. From the media fast, to my brother's wedding and moving outta home, to the awesom-est Sydney trip, to the Passion conference in KL, to me changing my major (drastically), to drifting away from some friends, to making some new friends, to helping out in the Seed's events alot more, to organising Care and Share, to having the best-est Christmas ever.
The year (as my entire net would put it) was a real roller coaster ride for me. It's been real madness and it hasn't been fun. I've had a number of "worst day of my life"s and a few "best day ever"s. I cannot deny how tiring it's been, going up and coming down, and going up to come down again the whole year. I look at my blog archives and I find myself so menopausal. HAHA. In one post, I could be so happy and talking about how I love God and in the next, I can emo as hell. As I read my archives, I found that through the year I've wasted so much time, been stuck at certain issues. I wished I moved on earlier, stopped being such a "harp-ist" earlier and learnt things the easier way. I found myself laughing at myself for all the unnecessary worry I've given myself through the year... Like how I doubted and worried if God would come through for me and all. This gave me some insight onto how God views our lives. He has like my blog archives for 2009, for 2010 and so on. Isn't that cool. Haha. He holds the future. What assurance I would find if I would just trust in Him! (:
But thank God for the breakthrough He's given me during youth camp. Life hasn't been quite the same ever since (: It was a real turning point for me and for a few others. It's really like a stone was lifted from my heart and I finally can start living. I never knew life could be so wonderful and I could live with such richness in my spirit. The feeling's really indescribable (: But it really takes a conscious effort to not allow anything get to me. Nonetheless, I'm really excited for 2009. I believe it's gonna be one of the best years yet. I seem to have been in a wasteland in 2008 but I cannot deny that even in the "wasteland", I've learnt so much and I'm certain that it wasn't a wasted year. It was necessary to prepare me for next year I believe.
Oh my gosh I', gonna be 21 next year!!! Ahhh. That is such a freaky thought. Next year's gonna be a challenging one as I'm gonna have no holidays at all. I've to do a 3 month placement right after my semester and the odds of me getting to go to any church/youth camps are real low. Plus, I'm gonna try to do a special semester at the end of the year to try to clear all my modules within 2.5 years. But still, I'm thrilled for what it is to come. I can't wait to get to know Him more, I can't wait to see my friends come to know Him. I can't wait for Him to mould and prune me more. There are so many areas, habits and attitudes in me I still need Him to change. I just can't wait to see what He has in store for me, my brothers and sisters in Christ and my friends :D I think I've made Him cry alot in 2008 (oops) and I can't wait to do Him proud and see Him smile.
Perhaps cos my brother bought EstherTan a Cannon860 camera for Christmas last year and cos everyone was kind enough to buy me a camera of my own for my birthday, I find myself having a record breaking amount of photos this year. 2008 was one of the fastest years of my life. It came and went just like that. However as I look back it seems like so much have happened and changed. Some people have come, some have gone. From the media fast, to my brother's wedding and moving outta home, to the awesom-est Sydney trip, to the Passion conference in KL, to me changing my major (drastically), to drifting away from some friends, to making some new friends, to helping out in the Seed's events alot more, to organising Care and Share, to having the best-est Christmas ever.
The year (as my entire net would put it) was a real roller coaster ride for me. It's been real madness and it hasn't been fun. I've had a number of "worst day of my life"s and a few "best day ever"s. I cannot deny how tiring it's been, going up and coming down, and going up to come down again the whole year. I look at my blog archives and I find myself so menopausal. HAHA. In one post, I could be so happy and talking about how I love God and in the next, I can emo as hell. As I read my archives, I found that through the year I've wasted so much time, been stuck at certain issues. I wished I moved on earlier, stopped being such a "harp-ist" earlier and learnt things the easier way. I found myself laughing at myself for all the unnecessary worry I've given myself through the year... Like how I doubted and worried if God would come through for me and all. This gave me some insight onto how God views our lives. He has like my blog archives for 2009, for 2010 and so on. Isn't that cool. Haha. He holds the future. What assurance I would find if I would just trust in Him! (:
But thank God for the breakthrough He's given me during youth camp. Life hasn't been quite the same ever since (: It was a real turning point for me and for a few others. It's really like a stone was lifted from my heart and I finally can start living. I never knew life could be so wonderful and I could live with such richness in my spirit. The feeling's really indescribable (: But it really takes a conscious effort to not allow anything get to me. Nonetheless, I'm really excited for 2009. I believe it's gonna be one of the best years yet. I seem to have been in a wasteland in 2008 but I cannot deny that even in the "wasteland", I've learnt so much and I'm certain that it wasn't a wasted year. It was necessary to prepare me for next year I believe.
Oh my gosh I', gonna be 21 next year!!! Ahhh. That is such a freaky thought. Next year's gonna be a challenging one as I'm gonna have no holidays at all. I've to do a 3 month placement right after my semester and the odds of me getting to go to any church/youth camps are real low. Plus, I'm gonna try to do a special semester at the end of the year to try to clear all my modules within 2.5 years. But still, I'm thrilled for what it is to come. I can't wait to get to know Him more, I can't wait to see my friends come to know Him. I can't wait for Him to mould and prune me more. There are so many areas, habits and attitudes in me I still need Him to change. I just can't wait to see what He has in store for me, my brothers and sisters in Christ and my friends :D I think I've made Him cry alot in 2008 (oops) and I can't wait to do Him proud and see Him smile.
3 comments:
HEY! VERY NICE! And kinda unglam on rx's part. haha.. "very homeless guy on the subway".
Hey ester! I found your blog by Google can you believe it. :)
hello anyways, Im michelle do you remember? Minihot dogs at 3 am yesterday. :)
HELLO MICHELLE! You're so funny please (: It was nice talking to you ystd though the conversation was shortlived. Haha. You've got a blog too? Leave your url so I can link you! :D
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