Today was a significant day for me (: Spent my whole day in church since I stayed over for encounter last night. It seemed like an ordinary day, the ordinary activities, the ordinary meetings and what not. But it turned out extraordinarily. Nope, God did not appear to me in a burning bush, nor did he speak in a loud and audible voice. But I stand at the end of the day, looking back, amazed at Him, at what He's been doing in my heart today, right from the moment I opened my eyes this morning. He's just been speaking, moving my heart so so much and I feel like I really caught something in my spirit today. I was feeling really really excited about everything that God is gonna do, and Christmas and all.
Then my dad came in with some Sunpage Call Back Card and I knew at that point, oh-oh, this isn't gonna be good. And he started to explain to me how the stupid card works and how I can save up alot on my bill if I use it and all the nonexistent privileges that come with it. I was highly and easily irritated at that time. If you know my dad, it might shed some light into the issue. He's quite erm... monotonous and repetitive. In not so nice terms, naggy. He does not ever shake me to wake me up, he nags at me, going "Girl..." for like a billion times till I finally get up. I don't know what came over me just now but I just became very irritated and frustrated as he didn't seem to understand that only bang*as use such cards and they're far too troublesome in the first place. I raised my voice at him. He didn't say anything, he just walked out of my room.
And once he stepped out, God prompted me, "Go apologize to your dad. Now." The usual-me would just ignore it and go to sleep cos I sorta know if I just let it pass, things will be alright after a night's rest. But the prompting just got stronger and stronger and I was reminded of Pastor Bob's words a few hours ago, "Delayed obedience is disobedience. Obedience is doing what God has told us to do instantly after He has spoken to us." I knew it was God. (Duh) Perhaps "sorry" is really the hardest word, especially when God tells you to do it. Haha. But at that point of time I was already feeling quite horrible, like the total opposite of what I felt before it all happened. I felt so inadequate and unworthy of the calling and all that crap. But I realised the hold it could have gotten over me if I didn't go and make it right. I wasn't willing to trade all I've experienced in a day for some stupid pride problem I had. So I mustered all my courage and apologised for my rude behavior (: And it was well received. My dad even said, "Actually, I was thinking in the shower, it's quite troublesome too... You're right. If it's troublesome then just use it when you wanna talk on the phone for hours loh... If not, it's fine."
Sometimes things are that simple. But the more we nurse our wounds, the more we think about what people have done to us, the more we think about matters, we tend to blow matters way bigger than they are in actual fact. And that's a deception of the devil too. The devil wants us to think, wallow, keep mum and suffer all by ourselves. But yea, once exposed, you realise, there's really nothing to it in the first place, and that the devil has contorted and magnified the situations to make us trapped in it. It's just like our secret sins, the devil magnifies the possible shame and disgrace that comes with revealing it, conceals the power of confession, and make us feel like we're the only ones being jerks and he instills the fear of public opinion and what nots. I could have focused in my failure to control my temper, how I'm so lousy as a person/leader and nullify whatever has done for me today. But once I decided to expose it, at the risk of my pride, the devil lost the control he had over me and now God gets the control, God gets the glory.
Another thing I realised today was that I've been neglecting my friends too much. Especially those who aren't from church. I've been so caught up with being in church, doing stuff, and being with my church friends that sometimes I forget to make time for my friends outside. BUT I"m about to change that from today on! Of course I don't mean like I skip ALL my services to just meet friends but yes, some extra effort has to be put in definitely in making use of whatever time I have in maintaining the important relationships in my life (:
I'm just so thrilled about everything. I'm so thrilled about Christmas. Christmas!!! I remember the times I'd switch my aircon to the lowest and put on my winter clothes, pretending that it was snowing outside. Haha, denial! But yes, Christmas is so much more than that. I'm thrilled that I love someone and not only does He love me too, the best thing is that He loved me first.
This Christmas is not going to be another ordinary one and I believe it with all my heart. (:
Then my dad came in with some Sunpage Call Back Card and I knew at that point, oh-oh, this isn't gonna be good. And he started to explain to me how the stupid card works and how I can save up alot on my bill if I use it and all the nonexistent privileges that come with it. I was highly and easily irritated at that time. If you know my dad, it might shed some light into the issue. He's quite erm... monotonous and repetitive. In not so nice terms, naggy. He does not ever shake me to wake me up, he nags at me, going "Girl..." for like a billion times till I finally get up. I don't know what came over me just now but I just became very irritated and frustrated as he didn't seem to understand that only bang*as use such cards and they're far too troublesome in the first place. I raised my voice at him. He didn't say anything, he just walked out of my room.
And once he stepped out, God prompted me, "Go apologize to your dad. Now." The usual-me would just ignore it and go to sleep cos I sorta know if I just let it pass, things will be alright after a night's rest. But the prompting just got stronger and stronger and I was reminded of Pastor Bob's words a few hours ago, "Delayed obedience is disobedience. Obedience is doing what God has told us to do instantly after He has spoken to us." I knew it was God. (Duh) Perhaps "sorry" is really the hardest word, especially when God tells you to do it. Haha. But at that point of time I was already feeling quite horrible, like the total opposite of what I felt before it all happened. I felt so inadequate and unworthy of the calling and all that crap. But I realised the hold it could have gotten over me if I didn't go and make it right. I wasn't willing to trade all I've experienced in a day for some stupid pride problem I had. So I mustered all my courage and apologised for my rude behavior (: And it was well received. My dad even said, "Actually, I was thinking in the shower, it's quite troublesome too... You're right. If it's troublesome then just use it when you wanna talk on the phone for hours loh... If not, it's fine."
Sometimes things are that simple. But the more we nurse our wounds, the more we think about what people have done to us, the more we think about matters, we tend to blow matters way bigger than they are in actual fact. And that's a deception of the devil too. The devil wants us to think, wallow, keep mum and suffer all by ourselves. But yea, once exposed, you realise, there's really nothing to it in the first place, and that the devil has contorted and magnified the situations to make us trapped in it. It's just like our secret sins, the devil magnifies the possible shame and disgrace that comes with revealing it, conceals the power of confession, and make us feel like we're the only ones being jerks and he instills the fear of public opinion and what nots. I could have focused in my failure to control my temper, how I'm so lousy as a person/leader and nullify whatever has done for me today. But once I decided to expose it, at the risk of my pride, the devil lost the control he had over me and now God gets the control, God gets the glory.
Another thing I realised today was that I've been neglecting my friends too much. Especially those who aren't from church. I've been so caught up with being in church, doing stuff, and being with my church friends that sometimes I forget to make time for my friends outside. BUT I"m about to change that from today on! Of course I don't mean like I skip ALL my services to just meet friends but yes, some extra effort has to be put in definitely in making use of whatever time I have in maintaining the important relationships in my life (:
I'm just so thrilled about everything. I'm so thrilled about Christmas. Christmas!!! I remember the times I'd switch my aircon to the lowest and put on my winter clothes, pretending that it was snowing outside. Haha, denial! But yes, Christmas is so much more than that. I'm thrilled that I love someone and not only does He love me too, the best thing is that He loved me first.
This Christmas is not going to be another ordinary one and I believe it with all my heart. (:
2 comments:
an amazing God.
sorry is really hard when God really wants you to say it.
but the peace and joy that comes after it is so amazing.
ending the year with a bang and starting a new one with fresh expectations.
what an amazing year ahead of us =D
:D
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