That was pretty hard to swallow :/ Rest assured I'm not some self absorbed freak like you probably would think I am now. Haha It's funny how we sing often about how "It's ALL about Jesus, it was never about us." But so many times we as leaders feel the responsibility to deliver a powerful lesson, to bring the "uhmp!" factor to our worship leading and all. I do admit that I try very hard sometimes, too hard, perhaps. It's almost as if if I could be like that successful leader, God'll be pleased with me. When my members cry when I lead worship then I'm successful. If not, God's just like, "Try harder Esther."
Last friday at my net outreach, I realized how self absorbed I was. I was so super worried about what message to deliver and whether anyone would listen to me, much less give their hearts to Him. As much as I told God "Salvation belongs to You!", a part of me was super stressed out cos I felt like I had to bring it. If I didn't share good enough, God wasn't gonna come and do something. I really wanted to "do it" so that God'll be proud of me and yea, I just wanted Him to be happy with me and "what I've done for Him".
That very night, I got so encouraged by Charis's testimony. It was her first time leading a net and she basically shared what God told her to, and with that simple faith of hers, God worked through her and she had two salvations in her net. I got so convicted that night. I'm not saying that Charis didn't share good (I'm sure she did), but I was just reminded that it wasn't about how great she shared, but it was really God moving through her to touch those lives the way He wanted.
I was reminded of how God's not limited by our limitations. And that we shouldn't limit Him with our limitations. That blows my mind but yea, I guess that's why it's called the supernatural aye.
I had a pleasant surprise yesterday morning. Someone totally random actually had a word for me. And it was right on. I was just stunned. It's like... God took all the trouble to tell someone else about me? :') God is not pleased based on how much we can accomplish for Him, He looks at the heart. That was liberating.
Last friday at my net outreach, I realized how self absorbed I was. I was so super worried about what message to deliver and whether anyone would listen to me, much less give their hearts to Him. As much as I told God "Salvation belongs to You!", a part of me was super stressed out cos I felt like I had to bring it. If I didn't share good enough, God wasn't gonna come and do something. I really wanted to "do it" so that God'll be proud of me and yea, I just wanted Him to be happy with me and "what I've done for Him".
That very night, I got so encouraged by Charis's testimony. It was her first time leading a net and she basically shared what God told her to, and with that simple faith of hers, God worked through her and she had two salvations in her net. I got so convicted that night. I'm not saying that Charis didn't share good (I'm sure she did), but I was just reminded that it wasn't about how great she shared, but it was really God moving through her to touch those lives the way He wanted.
I was reminded of how God's not limited by our limitations. And that we shouldn't limit Him with our limitations. That blows my mind but yea, I guess that's why it's called the supernatural aye.
I had a pleasant surprise yesterday morning. Someone totally random actually had a word for me. And it was right on. I was just stunned. It's like... God took all the trouble to tell someone else about me? :') God is not pleased based on how much we can accomplish for Him, He looks at the heart. That was liberating.
1 comment:
thanks for the post esther! it really serves as a raincheck! :)
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