Hello world. It's been awhile since I've had the time (and energy) to be on this cyberworld blogging a post that is of substantial information/photos. The weekend felt sooo long but I didn't want it to end at all.

There's no doubt that my faith has been challenged greatly these days- in all aspects of the word "challenged". I've witnessed cancer patients going up stage and praising God for completely healing them, I've been awestruck by the sight of crippled men and women run and jump, I've seen ppl removing their tubes and oxygen tanks and walking up to testify, but I've also seen people go home in their wheelchairs.
I know you must be thinking now, "What a pessismist." But honestly, I was very very affected by it. My heart really really broke for those people. They looked desperate, so hopeful, looking at other people get their miracles, looking at other people dance when all they could do was sit there and watch. I battled alot within myself. I kept telling myself, "God knows, God knows." but I just couldn't ignore the fact that these were real people with real needs and they do have emotions.
But God is good, He NEVER leaves me doubting Him or wondering if He's real. And you know what's the most amazing thing? God is not intimidated by our questions. Cos He has the answers. This morning, I wasn't even doing my devotions, I was like uploading my photos from GNS (Haha, oops) and He spoke to me so clearly through a photo. (Haha, God's real creative huh!) the answer came in the photo below.
Everyday's routinue: wakeup, chiong to SIS, plong myself at leisure park mall and gorge myself with loads of starbucks and yoguru(!), go for practice, stand for hours on stage doing stupid things during rehearsal, having (free and yummy) dinner with dearests, then having fun on stage during worship, get challenged by Reinhart Bokke ('ve gotta say he's the wisest man I've ever seen, the things he says are like, "OHYAHOR!"), see hundreds of ppl come to the altar :') and amazing miracles happen, get onto the church van, go to Macs drive thru to get sponsered supper(Hehe), head to Toa Payoh Office, consolidate response cards (YAY!), mail merge, print, fold, mail, then home sweet home(bed)!
I know you must be thinking now, "What a pessismist." But honestly, I was very very affected by it. My heart really really broke for those people. They looked desperate, so hopeful, looking at other people get their miracles, looking at other people dance when all they could do was sit there and watch. I battled alot within myself. I kept telling myself, "God knows, God knows." but I just couldn't ignore the fact that these were real people with real needs and they do have emotions.
But God is good, He NEVER leaves me doubting Him or wondering if He's real. And you know what's the most amazing thing? God is not intimidated by our questions. Cos He has the answers. This morning, I wasn't even doing my devotions, I was like uploading my photos from GNS (Haha, oops) and He spoke to me so clearly through a photo. (Haha, God's real creative huh!) the answer came in the photo below.
No, He didn't say, "It's a real nice photo you took Esther." (Though I do think it's quite nice. Hehe) But it made me realize and sense the love of the Father. In the thousands of people, God does not see the crowds. He sees the individual. He looks at each and every single one of them (all at one time: I think that's the coolest super power ever!). Not only does He look at them, He knows their situations inside out, He has been watching out for them day and night, He feels the pain they have been going through more than any one can ever try to empathise, He hears their cries of desperation, and most imptly, He loves each so so so so much, He knows the plans He has for their lives and there's no plan B. His plan is the best (in His terms, of course.)
There I was, trying to tell God how unfair it was for these people, how my heart broke for these people. But God's like, "I love them so much more then you do. I died for each one of them. Am I an unfeeling God? Will I not be moved by compassion at all? I took their pain upon myself, how can I not understand how they feel? For I know the plans I have for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope. I did not accidentally or purposefully pass any one of them by."
I was speechless. I am really amazed at the God I serve. He's just so indescribably awesome. I finally understood. I finally learnt how I shouldn't try to play God when I obviously would do such a horrible job. Yesterday I asked God during the altar call, "You said faith is such a simple thing, why is it so hard to have it? How can I have what you call "faith"?". He just said, "You can't complicate faith. Faith is when you stop asking questions and simply believing in your heart that Your God never fails." Wow. :')
There I was, trying to tell God how unfair it was for these people, how my heart broke for these people. But God's like, "I love them so much more then you do. I died for each one of them. Am I an unfeeling God? Will I not be moved by compassion at all? I took their pain upon myself, how can I not understand how they feel? For I know the plans I have for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope. I did not accidentally or purposefully pass any one of them by."
I was speechless. I am really amazed at the God I serve. He's just so indescribably awesome. I finally understood. I finally learnt how I shouldn't try to play God when I obviously would do such a horrible job. Yesterday I asked God during the altar call, "You said faith is such a simple thing, why is it so hard to have it? How can I have what you call "faith"?". He just said, "You can't complicate faith. Faith is when you stop asking questions and simply believing in your heart that Your God never fails." Wow. :')
How could I ever walk away from a God like that? I would never want to. I don't even think it's possible :)
Alright, now, some random photos from the crusade:
4 comments:
hmmm i think some of them are from bpghs right? lol
Haha yes! Wow, you're super observant. :D Anw, how are you! :) Been awhile since I've seen you in school, strangely. Hope you're surviving the school madness well! :) Take care.
the photos look so good, you guys look like you had so much fun! (: Must have been SO awesome!!
CHUNGY :') :') :') BLOGGER IS WORKING!? SO IS HOTMAIL??? WOOHOO!
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