Questions for heaven.

And so over dinner today Declan threw me into shock-

"The latest church worship celebrity, Mike Guglielmucci of “Healer” fame, has been a total liar, fake and fraud when it comes to his claim of beating life-threatening cancer. His story and the song which is supposedly inspired have been the talk of the worship world for the last month or so - especially with the news that Hillsong had recorded it and were including the song (along with the powerful live video) in their latest release, “This Is Our God.”

Here’s a quick recap of Mike’s story -

• Diagnosed with cancer
• Comes home, sits at the piano and begins singing
• The melody and words of “Healer” pour out in this incredible time of worship

The song was then recorded by Planetshakers on their latest album and apparently caught the ear of the Hillsong folks who decided it would be great for their album. Once the promotion for that record started, Mike’s story was front and centre - including a promotional video that was released with Mike telling the world his story interspersed with shots of him singing the song at the live recording, oxygen tank, nose tubes and all.

So word breaks this morning that none of Mike’s story can be verified. Here are some links -

• Adelaide Now
  “Michael has confirmed that he is not suffering with a terminal illness and is seeking professional help in Adelaide with the support of his family.

  “We are asking our church to pray for the Guglielmucci family during this difficult time.”

• The Australian
  It appears Mr Guglielmucci, who was a pastor with one of Australia’s biggest youth churches, Planetshakers, may even have deceived his own family.

  “This news has come as a great shock to everyone including, it seems, his own wife and family,” Hillsong general manager George Aghajanian said in an email to his congregation yesterday.

I couldn't believe my ears when I first heard it. I even asked EstherT to slap me to prove to me I wasn't dreaming. I love the way Chris Vacher puts it on his blog:

"Crazy. Idiotic. Foolish. How can someone even DREAM of something like this?? What kind of sick, deranged person lies in their bed at night trying to think of ways to gain fame, notoriety and recognition while perhaps lining their pockets with some extra coin based on sales of a song that might be inspired by such a tragedy?? This is a total disgrace and another black eye on the modern evangelical church.

So. How do we respond? Some say stone him! Some say blacklist him! Some say he just needs a swift kick in the ass! How about you? What do you say?

What do I say? I don’t know.

Part of me is so tired of this. I’m so tired of trusting people and their stories of God doing amazing things only to be once again disappointed. I’m so tired of having to defend a church that wants to hold these people up based on their lies and deceit. I’m so tired of having to explain to friends why I would even associate myself with an institution that allows people like this to get famous. Nevermind the fact that I’m so tired of an institution that is making these people famous in the first place!

Part of me wants to stand on the rooftops and shout “I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!! I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE LYING, CHEATING JERKS WHO IS SELLING YOU A FALSE GOSPEL!!” I want so bad to distance myself from these idiots and their garbage lies and their cheating ways. I would scratch their name from history and have them never heard from again if it was up to me.

And then I wonder.. What does God say?? What does He think of all of this?

..

Ugh.

Why wouldn’t He turn His back on the whole lot of us and just let us all go down in flames? Why wouldn’t He just give this world a little nudge and send it spinning off in to the darkness of the universe? Why wouldn’t He just hit the cosmic reset button and start this whole damned thing over again?

And all I’m left with as an answer is “grace.” Because of grace. The only reason we are still living and breathing and spending a single moment on this planet is because of grace. God has every right to squash every last one of us and laugh at our stupidity - thinking that we have anything more to offer than Mike or Todd or whoever the next one will be. God has every right to stand on the rooftop and yell “Don’t listen to them!! I am not like them!! I don’t do things the way he says I do them!!” while pointing directly at.. me.

Cause that’s the truth, right?? We’re all Mike. We’re all Todd. We’re all messed up, screwed up, broken, deceitful, lying, sinful people. Now we may not be as devious or as scheming as those who are exposed and exploited but does that make us any better or any worse? Not at all. At the end of the day we are broken, sinful people in need of grace. Only God’s grace. And I need just as much of it as Mike does.

Could you imagine if all of your crap was exposed for the world to see? What if your Twitter account really detailed everything you were doing? everything you were thinking? Uh oh. We wave the “authentic” flag as though people are getting to know the real us if we post a little of our family struggles or about our issues with this sin or that, imagining that if people are given a littel glimpse in to a bit of the hard side of my life they might give me a little pat on the back for being so honest. And really it’s just misdirection - let’s give them a bit of what’s behind Door #2 so they don’t want to look behind Door #3, cause if that door was opened it’s game over.

Right?

I don’t know. I’m not suggesting that we all have stories like Mike’s. I’m not suggesting that we’ve all cooked up schemes like his. But if it was YOUR song that Hillsong was releasing and YOUR name being used to promote it and someone uncovered ALL of YOUR baggage and garbage, don’t you think it would be the talk of the town? Yeah. Sure it would."

I find myself at the end of all of these, amazed, at God's grace and mercy. Indeed so many times when we get into leadership positions and somehow we feel like we've arrived at where we are partly cos of our capabilities and our own competencies. But today, my eyes have been somewhat opened to see that really, it was never about us. God doesn't just use us when we're perfect. Or because we've done something right. We are able to be used by him purely cos of His mercy. His abounding grace.

Another thing that really amazed me was... God showed up that night at the Hillsongs Conference Finale Night. Yep, I was there. I saw Mike standing there, punching his fist in the air and saying how He believe God for 'healing'. I cannot deny how I felt God's presence so strongly all night. It struck me: God didn't not show up just cos Mike was there lying through his teeth. I mean, God knew Mike was lying then. But yet, He chose to come and touch every single one who was genuinely reaching for Him that night. He didn't let Mike get to Him. He still showed up.

But God is a God of justice too... Which is why I believe that even though evil may triumph for awhile, but in God's timing, it will all be revealed. Every hidden sin, will be revealed one day. I don't know bout you, but it scares the fats outta me. Ha. Maybe by looking at myself and my own imperfections help me judge him of his actions less. Its so true, like how they always say, no sin is worser than any other. Sin is sin. When God looks at me, He doesn't grade me according to the "degree" of my sins. Sin is sin. Simple as that. If I murdered, I sinned. If I told a lie, I sinned. If I did not honor my parents, I sinned. And in God's eyes, its all the same. Therefore it doesn't make me any better of a person than anyone else. Cos everyone has sinned! But thank God, that in His eyes, He sees us with His grace.

Funny how an issue like that could bring so much insight. This hoohaa is definitely gonna scar many. But I believe with all my heart, that what the devil meant to destroy or steal, God is gonna restore and turn this tragic situation for His glory. Just watch (: Perhaps today, I realised the true meaning of the phrase "In our weaknesses, He is strong." As much as the devil tries to make God look weak in our weaknesses, God has completely blown my mind with His greatness in the midst of our weaknesses and failures.

Truth is, I really don't have an answer to why God allow such things to happen. And the whys, hows, whats, whens. But there's a reason why I'm not God and precisely cos I am not, there's is then a need for faith.

As much as the Mike G thing still baffles me and leaves me in a state of shock, I just gained another new insight when I was just... harping on it. Haha. Gladys sent me the link to show me that Hillsongs have removed the song from their listings. I would understand if the church is so hurt by whatever has happened... But I was just thinking, God would want Mike G back, wouldn't He? Afterall God has a great plan for this guy who has preached so many great sermons and used by God to touch so many lives throughout the years. And whats more, God loves him so so much. I'm very sure that if Mike turns back and runs to God, God would certainly be more than happy to have him back and give him a second chance (:

A second chance.

But will the churches still give him a second chance? Would anyone take a risk in believing someone who lied again? I know God does. God'll take the gamble even if it risks His heart from breaking again... Cos to Him, its worth it (: Funny how whenever someone sins against us or does something so seemingly unjust towards us, we forget all about our own flaws and our desperate need for the exact second chance he/she need from us. Freely we have received, but how often have we freely given?

Forgiveness. Everyone needs some. Don't you?

Mike G, if you ever see this, you can come to Singapore if you run out of churches to go to(I hope not), I welcome you (: Hee

Its not so much of what has happened, but what is our response towards it?
_______________________________________________________________

Disgraced pastor Michael Guglielmucci releases statement

THE father of fallen pastor Michael Guglielmucci, Danny, read this brief statement to a packed congregation to explain his son's actions.

"Today is a very sad day for our family and church family. For many years our son, Michael has suffered from unexplained illnesses. We have been worried as we have seen him suffer and spend periods of time in hospital. Two years ago our lives were totally turned around by the sad news of our sons' cancer diagnosis. The love and support shown by our local church and all of our many friends around the world helped us get through a very difficult situation. During the last two years we have experienced the favor of God, his love and grace, and also the constant pain of the possibility of losing a son.

On Tuesday 12th of August we received a call to come and meet with Mike and Amanda but weren't ready for what we were about to hear. Mike began to share how he has lived a lie for the last 16 years of his life because of addictive behavior he couldn't break free from. He loved God and would throw himself into prayer, worship, and serving God with full energy and enthusiasm but still couldn't break free.

In September in 2006, Mike had an accident and went to hospital. It was at this time, because of his torment of living a double life, Mike thought he could escape the pain by creating a diversion from his addiction to adult pornography, so he created the cancer scenario. The pain of this addiction was so deep that he started something he couldn't stop and proceeded on a downward spiral that led to him experiencing pain and suffering that resulted in constant vomiting and many other symptoms of a genuine sufferer.

Sharonne and I witnessed these episodes and pained and wept over his suffering. Michael wrote the song Healer because he wanted God to set him free from his addiction but hid it behind the lie of a fabricated illness. Once he had started down this track he felt he couldn't stop so he continued to act out this sickness, feeling he had gone too deep into the lie. I can't begin to tell you how much this is hurting us on the inside. A few weeks ago Mike had a dream of Jesus on the cross looking down on him saying, 'the truth will set you free' and so he decided to confess and bring everything out into the open. (Its really courageous of him to do so, not so sure if I would have had his kinda guts.)

I immediately contacted our National Executive and submitted to their advice and council. Church, our family needs your prayers at this time. We are so, so sorry to bring you into this. I have lead you with openness and integrity and declare that we have not lived a lie before you. We fully understand the questions, shock, disbelief and even anger you may feel over this announcement. Please pray for us and we will pray for you.

Michael is struggling with a different kind of illness and is receiving professional help and will do so as long as is needed. On the council and advice of our executive and board, after our up and coming Edge conference, we will take time to be with Mike and get him all the professional and spiritual help he needs to come to full recovery. We have an amazing team. Thank you, executive, board, staff and church, for your love and support. We will do what is right before God and man and see this situation turned around for the glory of God. We love you. "

(Taken from AdelaineNow News)

We're all Mikes ourselves aren't we? Stuck in our bad habits, trying to find some easy way out, and landing up doing something so wrong even though we never intended for it to be that way. Point proven.

Wife says she'll stand by fraud pastor Michael Guglielmucci

THE wife of fraud pastor Michael Guglielmucci has vowed to try to save their marriage, despite the humiliating revelations of his cancer hoax and pornography addiction.
Speaking exclusively to The Advertiser, Amanda Guglielmucci, 29, defended her husband, who faked a two-year battle with cancer.

She insisted he was a good man, trapped by lies which had spiralled out of control. "I know he's not an evil man, there's not evil in his heart," she said.

Mrs Guglielmucci, who is staying in their Sydney home while Michael is with his family in Adelaide's southern suburbs, said she would try to salvage her marriage. "I know that I love him, I know that much," she said. "We're just not going to rush anything, we're gonna walk through the process, however slowly it needs to happen, in order for the healing and restoration to be complete and then we'll go from there."

She has turned to a counsellor to help cope with her husband's massive deception, which has shocked not only his family's church, Edge Church International, but the world-wide Christian movement. "I'm actually seeking professional counselling myself. I need to be able to unravel a lot of emotion that's bombarding me at the moment, I owe it to myself to work through that properly, and to him," she said.

"I had questions after the shock of it all, but my initial thoughts after hearing that were a sense of sorrow for the church and that a lot of people were going to be hurt because of it." Just 15 days ago, the world-renowned pastor and songwriter sat his wife of seven years down at their Sydney home and told her the awful truth. "I was the first one he told, he confessed everything to me," Mrs Guglielmucci said. "He just went through it – where it had started, everything in his life as a young kid, the patterns. He was crying, sobbing actually, absolutely sobbing, he just said `I don't have cancer'.

"He was terrified, I still remember the look on his face . . . it was a very hard moment for him, as it was for me hearing it."

Despite his elaborate deception and his admission of an addiction to adult pornography, Mrs Guglielmucci said it was feelings of sympathy and shock rather than anger that overwhelmed her. "I could just see a really broken, unwell man. At that point I found it really quite hard to get angry," she said. "Seeing your husband of seven years absolutely sobbing in front of you, risking everything coming forward and telling the truth – in that instance it was really hard to be angry or mad."

Mrs Guglielmucci said she understood people struggled to believe she could not have known her husband was faking his illness. However, she maintained his real symptoms – vomiting, hair loss and apparent pain – never gave her reason to suspect otherwise. "I never questioned it, when you love someone you trust them. I had no reason not to trust him," she said. "Perhaps I feel a little bit foolish in this, hindsight's a fabulous thing . . . but I'm trying not to beat myself up."

Mrs Guglielmucci even quit work to look after her ailing husband. "In the middle of the night he was in so much pain I would put towels in the microwave to try and give him some relief in his back," she said. However, she never attended doctors' appointments with him, a move she now regrets.

"Before I stopped working to care for him, I was busy, he'd have doctor's appointments when I couldn't be there and he would say `it's fine you don't need to be there'," she said. "Or I would just drop him off at the hospital." While his initial confession to his wife did include his addiction to porn, Mrs Guglielmucci said she had not even begun to process that element of his deception. "We're only talking two weeks (since admitting his lies), there's a lot of stuff to deal with," she said. "That sort of side of things hasn't really hit me yet, there's many levels and layers to everything. I can almost talk about it like I'm removed from it. That's where the professional help will help me work through that – it hasn't hit me yet."

Mrs Guglielmucci said her faith in God had remained unmoved throughout the ordeal. "At times like this, it's just a stronger resolve," she said.

One word, wow.