Abide

I feel like I've plummeted down right after the new year have started. Talk about sustainability. Haha. Just feeling very tired from all the responsibilities, and fearful of the big things are to come. I was just questioning God about alot of stuff- why the roller coaster ride never seems to end and why life is the way it is. I just don't see myself bringing anyone to Him if my life is such a wreck, you know? I mean, why should others believe in your God when you are just like them? Ouch :l But yea, God never fails to speak, does He? No matter how distant I feel, how distant I've gone, He never stops loving and caring :') Yup and so He spoke, so clearly today:

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." John 15:4-11

I checked up what "abide" meant to get a better picture and it meant simply "to remain","to dwell". When you remain in someone, you do not leave. Remaining in Him would then mean being constantly in His presence- waking up saying good morning to him, including Him in our daily affairs like talking to Him while walking to school, having Him in mind when we are with our friends or when we're all by ourselves, till we say goodnight to Him.

It's only when we choose to dwell in Him constantly that we can find the fullness of joy. It's only when we choose to dwell in Him constantly that the roller coaster stops. It's only when we choose to dwell in Him that we can do everything that He has called us to do without wearing ourselves out .It's only when we choose to dwell in Him that we can bear fruit. It's only by dwelling in Him that our lives can be a true testimony- Not something made up, not something religious and forced, but something that oozes (can't find a better word) out from our innermost beings.

"Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:30

It's only when we abide in Him, that we'd be able to serve Him and love Him tirelessly.

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know You're always here
But the comfort of You near is what I long for

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue,
Knowing You're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want