hello reality, i'm back.

The stomach flu i got on the last day of camp really allowed me to see how blessed i was. When i was puking and dying on and off the bus, it was really all the support from them tt kept me gg. The pain was indescribable but the love and care i felt was just, extraordinary. (: All the hassle of gathering plastic bags, feng yous, tissues (even hand sanitisers) from the entire bus of sleeping passengers, i cannot thank them more. (: Even accompanying me to the clinic after... where i officially made it the most embarrassing day of my entire life. hahaha Nvm, point is i appreciate every single one of you, really. :3

Camp was good as usual, how can any camp be not good when God's there. And how can there ever be a time tt God doesn't show up at church camp when his ppl purpose in their hearts to seek him. Besides, there has got to be two or more candidates tt are genuinely seeking his face. And as He's promised tt he'll show up upon tt criteria, He stays true to His word. But Luke Barnett and Jack Loumen were such anointed speakers!

Every time after any church related camps, i'll always have an uber long blog post bout how God has come thru for me, and how i got all my breakthrus and all. But somehow, when i look back in my archives, ashamed, i can't even say tt i've been living the life totally, like the ones i've talked about each time. Sometimes, the greatest difficulty we face is, not letting the little lest things take its toll on our 'committed' cause. The irony of it. Thing is, the enemy is well aware of the power of a focused life. Obviously, knowing what harm it may cause to his pathetic 'kingdom', he's always out to get us distracted by the dumbest things. And we get easily distracted cos we don't know the potential of a focused life. Or maybe, we're just dumb and forgetful human beings. haha

I cannot deny tt i've received so much this camp. But, yea. Much is given, much is required, isn't it. The camp really felt like it was a just beginning of yet another lap of the race. My fears, i admit are still, so real, esp now tt we're back in the land of the "beyond". But i believe, tt i cannot just believe each time, but i must move, and perhaps like, do something. haha. Oh how many times we've ran down to altar calls say "Yes Lord, Yes Lord!!!" and yet time and again, once we're back home and everything's just nice the way it is again. "Easy way out syndrome" is just such... an easy way out. haha I want to try harder this time. I really do. I dream of living a life tts "In the spirit, out of my mind, and strapped in." I wanna try living it.

At the end of my life, i just really hope i won't regret allowing my mission statement to be my mission statement for my entire life. If i were to make out the mission statement of my life for the past few weeks, i think it would be something like that " Eat, play, have fun and occasionally seek God with my all." OUCH. I don't think i would want that to be my mission statement when i look back in life. I mean, what a loser luh. Like die playing, eating and 'impacting' my own life(which i lost by then)? hmm.

the odds are great, impossibilities are overwhelming.
sounds like characteristics of the first step to God's divine miracle.

"The safest place to be is the center of his will." Check any character in the bible and you know tt wasn't a theoretically true statement. Every single one took a risk and ventured into the 'dangerous' with God. Every risky situation tt comes our way offers us a great opportunity to express our allegiance and trust in Him.

What is your point of no return?